Too many things to care for, too many things to tend to.

It's been a very very very very extremely hectic week. Barely slept 4 hours a day during the night, but luckily i still manage to catch forty winks in the afternoon. *sighs*. Being so relaxed during the first few weeks when uni started and now, barely living it out by not choking and getting myself drown. = . =

So what? It's just the beginning. With the due date of an integrated project coming new, with 5 labs within 2 weeks, where 3 labs are continuous and going for a camp on the weekend. Gosh, I wonder whether I would survive next week.

Feels like shit. Tastes like hell. Sometimes I just wish I could just sit back, shake my legs and hope that everything ends well. But looks like that ain't coming. Maybe it's just me trying to inhale everything into myself and soak myself in it so that I will not think too much. =).

Yeah, it's going to be a hell of weeks, but for once, maybe I feel liberated? haha....
It's been going fine now, no messages from you, no conversations from you whatsoever and most importantly no feud. It makes it simpler to not care because it's not important to you.

Just here to rant some stuffs and now, after a energizing bath, I'm off to drenching myself again. Let's hope I get out alive, or not. =D

Reflections.

It's been a while since I last posted something. ^^

Reason for not updating, because I can't find anything to talk about. =)

Fact is, not that I don't have anything to talk about. Just that I don't think it's worth to be talked. For the past few weeks I've been trying to remain calm and regain my composure. haha~....not sure if it's working but I'm definitely trying. It came to my conscious that it is evident that you can trust no one but yourself. That is, of course if you don't want to get hurt.

It's funny how mind works. When you lose something, you will try all ways to try to find back that precious thing. When you do not find it, you feel that you're devastated and demoralized. What if, after a few weeks later, it reappeared again? Out of nowhere. Maybe you would be happy, maybe you won't feel anything.

The feeling is not just the same anymore as when you first owned it. The feeling is different now. When searching for the missing item, sometimes I might also hurt others unintentionally. It's not that I want to, but I did not notice it. Maybe I am just too carried away by the disappearance of the item that I neglected others that were important to me as well. It's not that I don't care about the rest. Sometimes explaining after something happened brings even more harm.

If they are true to you, one day, they will understand. Anyways, just wanted to apologize if it really did harm to you all. =).

As the days of the new year increase, I hope maybe I will not be stubborn anymore. =).
I hope that I would not be bound by the thing I've always been searching for.
I hope that I will not trust anyone so easily anymore.
I hope that I will not treat everyone so good anymore.
I hope that I will be back to what I'm best at. =P
I hope that from now on, these walls built around me will be strong enough to withstand the currents and pressure from the surrounding.

Last but not least, yes, people do change. It is evident now. But for the better or for the worse nobody can tell. Different people has different views. It's up to u how you interpret it. When someone has changed, you can do nothing to change the person back to the original, but you can only hope that the new person is just as good as the previous one.

One can forgive another persons mistake, but can one really forget? Let's just keep it as a memoir for us to remind ourselves that nobody is perfect and nothing is eternal. Things change. People change.

I guess it will be quite sometime before I update. =D ( sulah mau tidur la~~ haha.. )