For you, a friend I once known.

I guess, the waiting has to end. Sooner or later, reality will prevail. Dreams will be dashed and hopes will be dampened. Frankly speaking, I never put much hope on it? I knew there weren't hopes at the very least.

People have been complaining, what a sombre blog, what a emotional blog, so why not? This is what you get in my blog. What you see, is what you get. What you get, is not what you like. So what am I supposed to do with this? Continuous ignoration. Yeah, that's what I will do. Sometimes I just prefer to voice it out here, rather than throw a tantrum elsewhere. So maybe for once, if you don't see me posting any updates, you should be glad that I'm content with how I am.

Don't get me wrong. There are happy and joyous things that happen, but there is always just that one small little pest that can make it all null. I guess maybe I've improved? After more than a month, and now I'm here posting about it. Maybe it just wasn't as important as before?

My friend, it has been more than a month. Is there really nothing left to chatter between the two of us? Is this what I get when I act selflessly? Maybe not to the extent but I dare say I've contributed. Well, being ignored does hurt, but what hurts the most is being ignored by you.

I've really got nothing to say anymore. Now that it has passed. Now that almost everything is lost. Let's just say that the milk left on the table has turned sour. Any consumption of it will just cause discomfort to your stomach. Just the same as the condition we are in. I guess the gift that I presented to you is the last gift I will ever give to you. Very well, a parting gift. If that's how you like it to be, if that's how you want things to be between us, then very well. Let all the good times we had just be nothing but a memory that will be a part of my mind forever.

For you, a friend I once known, trusted, talked to and cherished.

There is only so much that I can take

It's almost a week now. My anger became regret, my regret became remorse, and my remorse became repent.

Albeit all that, I still couldn't win your forgiveness. I really meant no harm with the words that I said. You used to push me around with your jokes. I never thought that you would be hurt that way. By my words. Or is it not the reason?

At least if you're angry you could at least tell me. You just chose to ignore me. And ignore me. And ignore me. There is only so much that I can take. I'm really running out of options. People ask me to not care. But could I not?

What I thought, was not the same now anymore. People say that as time changes, people change. Are you one of them? I really hope you're not. These few days, I've just not been myself. You know my character and yet you let me, ignore me, and left me to fend for myself.

I just don't know what else I can do to redeem myself. To have back a friend like you. There is only so much that I can do. I really don't know what else I can do. Do you wan me to kneel down and beg you? Cos that's what I'm willing to do. Yeah, pathetic I guess, but that's the state I am now.

Pathetic

&

Hopeless.

Into thin air~

You don't have to hide.

You don't have to run away.

I will be the one.

To do the little disappearing act.

So save your time, save your energy.

Cause you know what?

Your time starts now.

Emotional or Emotionless?

Is it so hard to keep a promise?

A promise not to someone else, but to your own.

You betrayed yourself.

What's worse is that you can't punish yourself for breaking that promise because you are already hurt by the process itself. =(.

You're just not strong enough to withstand the temptation.

You're just too weak to prolong in this situation.

You're just useless without someone accompanying you.

You're nothing, as compared to others. =)

Guess I'm trying not hard enough as once again, the emotions are back again. =,="

For the past few weeks, I guess I tried to wipe away all these feelings. It is not because it is not there, but I just ignored it and tell myself it would be a better day tomorrow. =). As much as I've tried, I think I have became a casualty.

But well, this time things might be different. Different in a way that I'm slowly rotting and crumbling and this time, nobody is there. When I don't mention it, it doesn't mean I don't care. When I don't object, it doesn't mean I agree. When I agree, doesn't mean I like it. =). Yeah, I know. I'm a spoilt brat. Call it whatever you want. It's just the way I see things. It's just the way I deal with things.

The way I rant, the way I complain, is just a way for me to release what's inside me. As for now, I neither have you nor you. And I guess all that you said were just merely a lie to cover the truth. It's not what you have done, it's what you are doing that matters. A wonderful act cannot replace the numerous insensitive acts you've conducted.

As for you, I think I've misunderstood, misconstrued and miscalculated the intentions you had. Blame me for thinking all these would end. =). Naive. Maybe you are sincere, maybe I'm not. Yeah, I'm hard to please and a pain in the ass. Take it or leave it. =).

Finished ranting here. Time to get some rest. Time to forget, forgive and relive it again? = , =. How lame can I be?~

Turning TwentyOne on the TwentyFirst.

It's been quite some time since I've last updated. =D. Been kinda lazy these few weeks. Just trying to grab hold of my life. =D. Haha. Well, this post is specially dedicated to my friends, who celebrated my 21st birthday with me. Thanks guys. So, how should I put this. Well, it started with movies in Midvalley. =). By movies I really meant more then 1. haha. Kok Ming, Pey Yi, Ben and I headed off to Midvalley at about 11 am. We got ourselves tickets to watch Surrogates.



After the movie, we hunted for something to eat. At last we decided to walk over to the Gardens and pampered ourselves to a meal at Italiannies. Some of the food were nice but some was just average. haha..However, the most important thing of all during our meal was, I got a bread-cum-cake surprise.lolz..Well, not a surprise, I guess maybe we misunderstood the waitress at 1st. Well, to say the truth, I got the chance to taste the bread-cum-cake was all because of TAN PEY YI. (You see, I even bold and uppercase your name. You must be proud *hugs*..haha). Thanks so much. Right after we finished lunch, we went directly back to Midvalley for our 2nd show. =).

This time, we watched,

Sorority Row *shrugs and runs away*

To be honest, I was not the one who wanted to watch this movie. Or should I say that, I had not intended to watch both of these movies. Kok Ming was the one who wanted to watch both of it so much. He pleaded and begged. Being such a good guy, I just couldn't disappoint him can I? lolz..He will kill me if he sees what I've said here. Neways Kok Ming, you make a good pleader and beggar. Keep up the good job. =) *hides*



Well, after the movie, we headed back to UKM to prepare for dinner with the rest of the coursemates. =). Jun Xing purposely drove back from Port Dickson just to celebrate my birthday!!~ *hugs hugs* ahahahahahaha.....Well, after everyone gathered, 10 of us altogether went over to Serdang to have our dinner at Lek Lek Restaurant = . =. Those who choose to dine there doesn't seem smart at all...lolz..The food was just not that tasty. =).

The guys~

~The girls

After gobbling down all the food (this action is only for Edison Chew, the rest ate politely), back to UKM it was. The day does not end there. Not yet at least. haha.They prepared a "surprise" for me. *wonders*...Well, not really a surprised, I knew it beforehand. =)..First they showered me with countless gifts (I know I'm a bit exxagerating , let me), then they decided to slap a plate of slimy gooey stinky dunno what type of thing onto my face body and everywhere. =(....hahaha... It was kinda fun actually, if you're not the one being slapped with it. lolz..I didn't really got hit. The only time I got smacked was when, was when I gave you chance. I gave you the opportunity to smack that slimy thing straight to my face Mr. Chan Kok Ming. Yeah, I gave you the chance. =P. Well, the day kinda ended with us cleaning ourselves up. =.=.. Thanks to those who came and celebrated my birthday for me. To name them, Edison Chew Pan Hao, Tan Yie Hua, Pua Soh Hoon, Tan Wei Low, Tan See Gin, Leong Jun Xing, Liew Kien Ben, Tan Pey Yi, and last of all, CHAN KOK MING. =o....

Free facial wash for u~~

lalala~

The next day is continued with another celebration. =D. I know my birthday is over, but those celebrations just keep coming over. haha..Don't mind me. I'm just SSS ing. Well it was not really a celebration. Just a lunch with another coursemate aka friend who couldn't make it yesterday. We had lunch together, and he got me a cake. ^^...Well physically got me one. haha..He was financially supported by others. They got me a Baskin Robbins ice cream cake!!!~~~

yummy!!!~

Thanks guys. =). Thank you Soo Kok Hoe, Tan Yie Hua and Chan Kit Yien. hahaha..Thank you Thank you Thank you. Next time I will mention that I like haagen danz cake pulak. thanks yah..=)...


Well, that kinda sums up the celebration I had during my birthday. Though there were some hiccups and disappointments along the way, it was indeed very memorable celebration for me. =). It showed me things friends would do for just a birthday celebration. Things friends are willing to do for me. =D.....hahaha..thanks so much guys. You guys made my day more meaningful. Will try to stay positive and be cheerful as always and continue to humor you guys with my not so humorous mouth. =). Take care and best of luck!!~

Makan, makan~

Haha...it's been a while now, since I've last posted something jovial? lolz...this is not really a jovial post either..

Just that the other day my friends and I went to have our dessert as dinner. How lame could one get. We had our desserts at Honeymoon somewhere near Taman Fadason, Jinjang.. The food overall was nice, I guess..lazy to elaborate any further..let the photo's do the talking la~

Quite nice o..lolx..or should i say maybe delicious?~~~

DUnno what this is.. =.=..something mango + pomelo..haha

I ordered this...looked as if I wanted tadpole eggs for dinner so much.. =.=

and have a look at this crazy guy~ =.=...

The dessert cum dinner costed about RM XX.00...We got a free joey yung album though.. Not so nice. All mandarins songs. Kinda boring. Ideal for putting you to sleep. =D...hahaha..

That's all I guess. Nothing much to talk. Nothing much to express. Just a simple mind saying that, I'm quite pleased with my life. For now. =D

Prinsip Proses Kimia

Buat kali pertamanya, saya berbahasa Melayu dalam blog saya. Buat apa? Kenapa?

Kerana geram dan frust dengan prinsip proses kimia yang pembelajaran dan pengajarannya dalam bahasa Melayu tetapi peperiksaan dalam bahasa Inggeris.

Tolonglah pakai otak sikit. =(. Kami jurutera-akan-datang, bukan penterjemah bahasa terkemuka.

Apa gunanya belajar dalam bahasa melayu terma terma jurutera? nak berkomunikasi dengan orang putih dengan bahasa Melayu?

Bukan sahaja tak maju, malah makin undur. =(.

Dalam proses pengunduran, banyak lagi yang terdedah kepada stress dan tension. Bye bye~.

Lame~
PPK be gentle, be sweet,
You let me ace you
I will love u bitter and sweet. =(