For you, a friend I once known.

I guess, the waiting has to end. Sooner or later, reality will prevail. Dreams will be dashed and hopes will be dampened. Frankly speaking, I never put much hope on it? I knew there weren't hopes at the very least.

People have been complaining, what a sombre blog, what a emotional blog, so why not? This is what you get in my blog. What you see, is what you get. What you get, is not what you like. So what am I supposed to do with this? Continuous ignoration. Yeah, that's what I will do. Sometimes I just prefer to voice it out here, rather than throw a tantrum elsewhere. So maybe for once, if you don't see me posting any updates, you should be glad that I'm content with how I am.

Don't get me wrong. There are happy and joyous things that happen, but there is always just that one small little pest that can make it all null. I guess maybe I've improved? After more than a month, and now I'm here posting about it. Maybe it just wasn't as important as before?

My friend, it has been more than a month. Is there really nothing left to chatter between the two of us? Is this what I get when I act selflessly? Maybe not to the extent but I dare say I've contributed. Well, being ignored does hurt, but what hurts the most is being ignored by you.

I've really got nothing to say anymore. Now that it has passed. Now that almost everything is lost. Let's just say that the milk left on the table has turned sour. Any consumption of it will just cause discomfort to your stomach. Just the same as the condition we are in. I guess the gift that I presented to you is the last gift I will ever give to you. Very well, a parting gift. If that's how you like it to be, if that's how you want things to be between us, then very well. Let all the good times we had just be nothing but a memory that will be a part of my mind forever.

For you, a friend I once known, trusted, talked to and cherished.

There is only so much that I can take

It's almost a week now. My anger became regret, my regret became remorse, and my remorse became repent.

Albeit all that, I still couldn't win your forgiveness. I really meant no harm with the words that I said. You used to push me around with your jokes. I never thought that you would be hurt that way. By my words. Or is it not the reason?

At least if you're angry you could at least tell me. You just chose to ignore me. And ignore me. And ignore me. There is only so much that I can take. I'm really running out of options. People ask me to not care. But could I not?

What I thought, was not the same now anymore. People say that as time changes, people change. Are you one of them? I really hope you're not. These few days, I've just not been myself. You know my character and yet you let me, ignore me, and left me to fend for myself.

I just don't know what else I can do to redeem myself. To have back a friend like you. There is only so much that I can do. I really don't know what else I can do. Do you wan me to kneel down and beg you? Cos that's what I'm willing to do. Yeah, pathetic I guess, but that's the state I am now.

Pathetic

&

Hopeless.

Into thin air~

You don't have to hide.

You don't have to run away.

I will be the one.

To do the little disappearing act.

So save your time, save your energy.

Cause you know what?

Your time starts now.

Emotional or Emotionless?

Is it so hard to keep a promise?

A promise not to someone else, but to your own.

You betrayed yourself.

What's worse is that you can't punish yourself for breaking that promise because you are already hurt by the process itself. =(.

You're just not strong enough to withstand the temptation.

You're just too weak to prolong in this situation.

You're just useless without someone accompanying you.

You're nothing, as compared to others. =)

Guess I'm trying not hard enough as once again, the emotions are back again. =,="

For the past few weeks, I guess I tried to wipe away all these feelings. It is not because it is not there, but I just ignored it and tell myself it would be a better day tomorrow. =). As much as I've tried, I think I have became a casualty.

But well, this time things might be different. Different in a way that I'm slowly rotting and crumbling and this time, nobody is there. When I don't mention it, it doesn't mean I don't care. When I don't object, it doesn't mean I agree. When I agree, doesn't mean I like it. =). Yeah, I know. I'm a spoilt brat. Call it whatever you want. It's just the way I see things. It's just the way I deal with things.

The way I rant, the way I complain, is just a way for me to release what's inside me. As for now, I neither have you nor you. And I guess all that you said were just merely a lie to cover the truth. It's not what you have done, it's what you are doing that matters. A wonderful act cannot replace the numerous insensitive acts you've conducted.

As for you, I think I've misunderstood, misconstrued and miscalculated the intentions you had. Blame me for thinking all these would end. =). Naive. Maybe you are sincere, maybe I'm not. Yeah, I'm hard to please and a pain in the ass. Take it or leave it. =).

Finished ranting here. Time to get some rest. Time to forget, forgive and relive it again? = , =. How lame can I be?~

Turning TwentyOne on the TwentyFirst.

It's been quite some time since I've last updated. =D. Been kinda lazy these few weeks. Just trying to grab hold of my life. =D. Haha. Well, this post is specially dedicated to my friends, who celebrated my 21st birthday with me. Thanks guys. So, how should I put this. Well, it started with movies in Midvalley. =). By movies I really meant more then 1. haha. Kok Ming, Pey Yi, Ben and I headed off to Midvalley at about 11 am. We got ourselves tickets to watch Surrogates.



After the movie, we hunted for something to eat. At last we decided to walk over to the Gardens and pampered ourselves to a meal at Italiannies. Some of the food were nice but some was just average. haha..However, the most important thing of all during our meal was, I got a bread-cum-cake surprise.lolz..Well, not a surprise, I guess maybe we misunderstood the waitress at 1st. Well, to say the truth, I got the chance to taste the bread-cum-cake was all because of TAN PEY YI. (You see, I even bold and uppercase your name. You must be proud *hugs*..haha). Thanks so much. Right after we finished lunch, we went directly back to Midvalley for our 2nd show. =).

This time, we watched,

Sorority Row *shrugs and runs away*

To be honest, I was not the one who wanted to watch this movie. Or should I say that, I had not intended to watch both of these movies. Kok Ming was the one who wanted to watch both of it so much. He pleaded and begged. Being such a good guy, I just couldn't disappoint him can I? lolz..He will kill me if he sees what I've said here. Neways Kok Ming, you make a good pleader and beggar. Keep up the good job. =) *hides*



Well, after the movie, we headed back to UKM to prepare for dinner with the rest of the coursemates. =). Jun Xing purposely drove back from Port Dickson just to celebrate my birthday!!~ *hugs hugs* ahahahahahaha.....Well, after everyone gathered, 10 of us altogether went over to Serdang to have our dinner at Lek Lek Restaurant = . =. Those who choose to dine there doesn't seem smart at all...lolz..The food was just not that tasty. =).

The guys~

~The girls

After gobbling down all the food (this action is only for Edison Chew, the rest ate politely), back to UKM it was. The day does not end there. Not yet at least. haha.They prepared a "surprise" for me. *wonders*...Well, not really a surprised, I knew it beforehand. =)..First they showered me with countless gifts (I know I'm a bit exxagerating , let me), then they decided to slap a plate of slimy gooey stinky dunno what type of thing onto my face body and everywhere. =(....hahaha... It was kinda fun actually, if you're not the one being slapped with it. lolz..I didn't really got hit. The only time I got smacked was when, was when I gave you chance. I gave you the opportunity to smack that slimy thing straight to my face Mr. Chan Kok Ming. Yeah, I gave you the chance. =P. Well, the day kinda ended with us cleaning ourselves up. =.=.. Thanks to those who came and celebrated my birthday for me. To name them, Edison Chew Pan Hao, Tan Yie Hua, Pua Soh Hoon, Tan Wei Low, Tan See Gin, Leong Jun Xing, Liew Kien Ben, Tan Pey Yi, and last of all, CHAN KOK MING. =o....

Free facial wash for u~~

lalala~

The next day is continued with another celebration. =D. I know my birthday is over, but those celebrations just keep coming over. haha..Don't mind me. I'm just SSS ing. Well it was not really a celebration. Just a lunch with another coursemate aka friend who couldn't make it yesterday. We had lunch together, and he got me a cake. ^^...Well physically got me one. haha..He was financially supported by others. They got me a Baskin Robbins ice cream cake!!!~~~

yummy!!!~

Thanks guys. =). Thank you Soo Kok Hoe, Tan Yie Hua and Chan Kit Yien. hahaha..Thank you Thank you Thank you. Next time I will mention that I like haagen danz cake pulak. thanks yah..=)...


Well, that kinda sums up the celebration I had during my birthday. Though there were some hiccups and disappointments along the way, it was indeed very memorable celebration for me. =). It showed me things friends would do for just a birthday celebration. Things friends are willing to do for me. =D.....hahaha..thanks so much guys. You guys made my day more meaningful. Will try to stay positive and be cheerful as always and continue to humor you guys with my not so humorous mouth. =). Take care and best of luck!!~

Makan, makan~

Haha...it's been a while now, since I've last posted something jovial? lolz...this is not really a jovial post either..

Just that the other day my friends and I went to have our dessert as dinner. How lame could one get. We had our desserts at Honeymoon somewhere near Taman Fadason, Jinjang.. The food overall was nice, I guess..lazy to elaborate any further..let the photo's do the talking la~

Quite nice o..lolx..or should i say maybe delicious?~~~

DUnno what this is.. =.=..something mango + pomelo..haha

I ordered this...looked as if I wanted tadpole eggs for dinner so much.. =.=

and have a look at this crazy guy~ =.=...

The dessert cum dinner costed about RM XX.00...We got a free joey yung album though.. Not so nice. All mandarins songs. Kinda boring. Ideal for putting you to sleep. =D...hahaha..

That's all I guess. Nothing much to talk. Nothing much to express. Just a simple mind saying that, I'm quite pleased with my life. For now. =D

Prinsip Proses Kimia

Buat kali pertamanya, saya berbahasa Melayu dalam blog saya. Buat apa? Kenapa?

Kerana geram dan frust dengan prinsip proses kimia yang pembelajaran dan pengajarannya dalam bahasa Melayu tetapi peperiksaan dalam bahasa Inggeris.

Tolonglah pakai otak sikit. =(. Kami jurutera-akan-datang, bukan penterjemah bahasa terkemuka.

Apa gunanya belajar dalam bahasa melayu terma terma jurutera? nak berkomunikasi dengan orang putih dengan bahasa Melayu?

Bukan sahaja tak maju, malah makin undur. =(.

Dalam proses pengunduran, banyak lagi yang terdedah kepada stress dan tension. Bye bye~.

Lame~
PPK be gentle, be sweet,
You let me ace you
I will love u bitter and sweet. =(

The veil

Underneath these happy vibes that has been continuously shown

There is no doubt a sorrow behind this veil

A sorrow that not one can see

A sorrow that not one can understand

But deep beneath the veil, a shattering emotion resides

It is not to be unleashed

Just being kept

Waiting for the day

When it soon will subside

Waiting for the time

When it does not matter any longer

Waiting anxiously,

For the day this veil is no longer needed

That's the day, I've been waiting for.

A fragment of memory in Singapore~

There is a fragment of memory, that I wish to keep.

There is a tiny bit of agenda, that I wish it will prolong.

There is a part of my memory, that if I made the other choice, will it be the same?

There is always a part of me, thinking how it could have been, and not how it has happened.

But all there is now is just moving on the road that I've chosen and hoping that it will end as fast as it begun. Thinking positively, I think it will. =D

Spent 3 days 2 nights in Singapore and just got back a few hours ago. The feel was indeed different. Accommodation was "sponsored" my our lovely Ms. Maggie Mee..*grins*..Stayed at her relative's house in Woodlands for the first night. During the second night, went over to NUS to find my friends and sought refuge from them..haha..Luckilly one of them entertained me and took me to the upper lounge of their hall and I spent my night there. =). Thank you~ *muacks*

Well, the main reason I went to Singapore was to visit a friend that I know I have little chance to meet. Due to the fact that he lives in JB and I in KL. Moreover, we both study in different higher institutions in different countries. Meeting him again after more than a year was kinda relieving for me. At last we managed to meet up with each other albeit the barrier that has been built between us.

It was indeed pleasant. And the times we spent together seemed to fly by so fast. Not much could be said, maybe the distances between us made limited of things that we could converse with each other. Maybe it felt kind of awkward as it has been more than a year since we've met and we only got to know each other for only about 2 weeks. Though the bond has only just been formed at that 2 weeks, I tried to not let go of that connection.

Yeah, all I can say is, I miss the few weeks I had in UKM. If given the chance, I would even consider giving up what I have now to get back what I had during the first 2 weeks of my university life. Thanks for giving me a memorable beginning and I hope I can find a memorable ending too. Thanks for sacrificing your time for me during my stay in Singapore and may this not be the last time we meet. Looking forward to coming meet ups with you, if any. Glad to have a friend like you, contented to be who I am.

In a few hours time~

In a few hours time, I would be in Sekinchan.

In a few hours time, I would be running around in the paddy field like nobody's business.

In a few hours time, I would be eating like there's no tomorrow.

In a few hours time, I would be enjoying my first escapade.

Yeah, tell me about it. In a few hours time I would be off.

=D

A year or so~

It's been more then a year, since I've enrolled in UKM. Before entering, I vowed to never get emotionally entangled in anymore friendship problems. Never to get to close to anyone because I knew that in the end, someone will get hurt.

However, it was easier said than done. The loneliness throughout the first few days in the university was overwhelming. I tried to remain calm and composed. Tried to keep my distance from my just known course mates. However, I couldn't just ignore the loneliness inside me. Not throughout the 4 years of my university life. Hence, I let myself got close to you.

Maybe it was just fate. Or was HE trying to fool around with me? Well, I never blamed HIM for whatever of these that happened. You needed my help, so you asked. And maybe that made us close. Or maybe at least it was for me. You have the right not to say so. Moreover, you just stayed across my room. I felt some connection, maybe because of the similarity of our horoscope. I know maybe it's superficial. But sometimes it's true.

But guess what, all my joy was short-lived after all. For all I knew, you had accepted an offer from NUS. How would I not have guessed, a four flatter like you would definitely keeps your options open wide. When you borrowed my notebook to check the status of your loan application, I wished it did not pass. I know. I'm selfish. You got it anyway.

The process of seeing you getting ready to leave for NUS was undeniably sad I guess. What made it more painful was that I had to go through the whole procedure of you leaving together with you. When you asked me whether you should stay in UKM or go over to NUS, I really had no idea on how to tell you. That is why I chose to remain neutral on both sides. You had to make you own decision. How can I tell you to stay in UKM for my own benefit?

The day came when you had to leave. The night before, I was not sleeping when you came in. Have I known that you were all going to KUO for a farewell party, I would have indeed followed I guess. Thinking back, we did not really have a proper farewell. Maybe I just couldn't accept the fact. The day you went, I saw you leave through the window knowing that I would once be lonely yet again.

I tried to keep in touch, but I guess maybe the both of us are too busy with our own lives till we became more and more distant. I knew that this will sure happen. I am more then glad that once in a while at least we could IM one another. I couldn't ask for more. Though I still feel the emptiness sometimes, it will all get better in time.



Having that experience in the first few weeks of my life in UKM was indeed not fun. However, it did not stop there. I tried to be more open or else I might rot and no one would know. Well as fate has it, I got to know another course mate who is also a libran. We talked a lot. At least through SMS. He is a person who is more expressive through SMS rather than talking in person. I respect that as I could feel that he really treated me as a fren.

We were quite close initially, but soon, maybe he guessed that he couldn't just befriend me alone and got back to his clique soon after. Though after that, we still contacted each other and he would find me to help him in his studies.I never knew whether I managed to help him or not. Reason was I myself was in a mess. Even now.

Few months passed and maybe I could feel the distance. Or maybe I'm the one creating the distance between us? I did not know as it happened too fast. Fast until I did not notice it left before it came. If given the chance, I would maybe choose to remain good friends with you. I would like to take this chance to apologize to you if I might have done anything to hurt you. I never meant for it to happen. I know you will never see this post, but as I've said, maybe it will get better in time.



Last but not least, I guess you would be the last one. No point going through how we met and how we became close. I guess both of us are very well aware of it. And both of us are very well aware that there is a problem, with no one to solve it. Maybe you just don't want it to be solved? I won't make any conclusions here.

At first I really thought that the problem came from me. You said I gave you pressure, I stopped the things that I do that make you pressured. You said I tied you too tight, I loosened the string. I've done everything I can, to preserve our friendship. You always said that friends should be go naturally, but there is already a tumor in it. So let me ask you, how can things go naturally if there is a tumor? I could only respect what you said.

I guess the argument the other day broke the silence in you. You really wanted to let go of your anger on me. Let me make things clear that I did not asked for an argument with you. I spoke nicely at first but you started raising your voice. Though I knew you a ready for a fight, I tried to remain calm. I did not want to widen the crack that has already been formed in our friendship. And guess what? You just didn't give up. Congratulations. You won the fight. But can I say that you lost a friend?

You kind of apologized the other day but maybe I just couldn't hear the word sorry. Well friends aren't supposed to be too offended by these things anyway. Especially if you really treat him truthfully. At least that was what I guessed.

After a few days, we started to contact each other lesser and lesser. And I wondered why. I asked you for a drink and you said okay. Maybe it was just to please me? I don't know. After the drink things remained the same.

I was quite dumb-founded. I though I was being sensitive all over again. However this time I guess maybe I was not. Another person also thinks that you are always SMSing someone. Not me. Not those that we were aware of. Putting all the puzzles together, it became evident that you have found a friend that understands you more than what I could have.

You found someone to replace me. Or was I never in the competition at all? It took us aprroximately 7 months and 9 days to be where we are now, and you just needed a week or so to forget all of these. Maybe I'm just not worthy of being your friend. Maybe I just try too hard. However and whatever that has happened, I still treat you as a friend. A close one, even if you don't, ever again.

Let you be the last one, that I get emotionally entangled with, let you be the last one I would try so hard to be friends with, let this be the last time I would be posting on this blog on how we could be and not how we are. Let this be the last time, I would trust someone so full-heartedly and let this be the last time you hear me say, we have a problem. We don't have any. Only I do. So let this be the last post on this matter. I never once regretted what happened between us as I know that the joyful moments are abundant and is able to compensate for the unhappy ones. It was a nice experience. Thank you.

Truthful Answer

Seriously, answer me.

Am I of no importance anymore?

A Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime?

Many of us are fortunate enough to have friends who are a consistent part of our lives throughout all our ups and downs. However, sometimes others we consider friends appear to enter, then depart from our lives for reasons we try to, but don't always, understand. This piece nicely explains the flow of people in and out of our lives.

It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are! They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered. And now it is time to move on.

Then people come into your life for a SEASON, b ecause your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons: things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.

True friends never leave each other, even if one of them is walking on the wrong path of life. A true friend will try to correct the other in a way that it does not hurt the ego of the other friend. Friends don't mind when mistakes are pointed out; rather they try to accept it and change themselves for the better. True friends are those, who inspire others to become a better person in life.

Pressure = Force/Area

Argh!!!~...The pressure is killing it. The force is getting bigger and bigger whereas there is just little area for it to withstand the force. Will it just succumb to defeat or make a miracle happen?

What must it do to go through this peacefully and happily?
How can it minimize the force and pressure that is forcing themselves on it?
What should be done?
It's now 4.30 am in the morning, and IT has not yet sleep.
*sighs*
IT is going to be a casualty soon.
Soon. Very soon.

Last Stand!~

I know this is lame, but what the h*ll. No one reads it anyways. =D

Here goes,


You ARE my best friend and nothing would change it.

End of story.

Up to you on how you see it.
Up to you on how you deal with it.
That's all I guess.

Will it last?

Lately, I've been moody. Feeling everything's lost for whatever reason. Can't help to not think of it. Maybe it's because I can't accept the truth or maybe I just want to live with it.

I've always said that I will try to move on but never once managed to do so. Then I will start whining all over until one day, someone smacked the hell out of me. It's not that I've not tried, yes I tried, but I gave up half way, not having the courage to do so.

Maybe it's time for me to realize that some things cannot be measured visually only. If that's what you believe than that's how it would be. It's the best remedy for the soul. Sometimes you may wonder why aren't you treated the way others are. Sometimes you may question why you are the one always trying to synchronize with others.

It's all very subjective and depends on how you see it. Your point of view may be different from others. Sometimes it's just simpler when you keep your thoughts to yourself. Sometimes life is simpler when you don't hope for much when you've already failed a few times. Yes, it is not a good value giving up easily, but I guess there's a point where you just know. Knowing that it's time for you to move on. Never to look behind on what you've once had and concentrate on what you're going to achieve.

Though it feels hurt once in a while, time will heal the pain.

What important is not the words that come out from our mouths.
What important is not the amount of messages we receive.
What important is not the way that I am sometimes treated a bit cold than others. What important is not the amount of private details we know about each other.
What important is not the lack of conversation we sometimes have.

However, what important is the mutual understanding that we have for each other.
A mouth to give advices.
An ear to listen to problems.
A shoulder to cry on.
A person who would understand.
A person to count on.
A person to trust.
A person of no replacement.

Wishing that it will last. You are were my best friend.

Unwell!!~

Argh....this stomach is really killing me. Don't know what's wrong it with. Everything just seem to go from bad to worse. Can't there be anything I can do? Freaks me out. Pisses me off. Done!

Interior Monologue

Feeling so paranoia now.Don't know why. Maybe you do but you just don't want to accept it. You must stop thinking this way. You must stop hurting myself. The only thing that will happen in the end is getting into grief and pain again. Over and over again. Aren't you bored?

Can't you just give up? You're such a sore loser do you know that? Accept the fact that you lost. Live with it. If you want to, let it haunt you for maybe a week, or maybe for your life. That's how life is. Sometimes you stand, sometimes you fall. When you stand, the moment only lasts for a while. When you fall, everyone will remember and it feels like forever.

So do you really want to pick this road again? Choose this road again? Don't you think you've had enough? It's time for you to let go. Time for you to move on. Don't get yourself hurt over and over again. You've had enough. You don't deserve this. Forget everything and you will be liberated. You just have to be strong. Persevere this, and there will be nothing that you can't face.

As much as you want to think of it, push it away. Pile yourself up with other important things that need more of your attention. Forget all those petty problems. There are just small obstacles for you to overcome and when you manage to overcome them, soon the big picture will reveal itself. There's always a silver lining. Never give up. Try your best. Soon, one day, you will be able to forgive and forget whoever that has hurt you before. Yes, one day, you will. You can. Believe.

=D

Sometimes, I feel so helpless because I am unable to help. I know that you have problems but I just can't seem to help much. Maybe you think I'm just being too nosy cause it's none of my business. Sometimes, it wont hurt to give yourself a break and try to hold on to others, rather than trying to survive the current all on your own.

It's just too much for one to handle. Not for you, not even for me. Don't keep it all to yourself. Try and learn to let go a bit more. =). Take care of yourself.

haha....now for the main point...am going to Genting Highlands during the weekend..woohoo~~!..haha...although its been just a few months ago since I've been to Genting, the feeling is just so there..haha..Genting Genting here I come~~!

That's all for now, Genting I'm coming!!~

If I could just

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The reason behind~

What actually is the reason behind someone's anger?

What actually is the reason behind someone's frustration?

What actually will you get from the anger and frustration?

Nothing much since the person don't even notice you ARE thrusting your frustration and collecting your anger until one day, it will just all disappear and make not significant meaning at all.

Nothing much to say,

Just a simple yet not sweet sentence that,

You made me angry. =)

Weekend

Was suppose to post longer with something more memorable, more substance, but I just couldn't carry on.

There's just so much that I would like to say, but I don't really know how to put it in a right way. It's like so hard for me to convey what I want to say. I've lost the sense of putting things together and saying it out. How can that be? I used to ace in these kind of things.

Sometimes I just don't know what I really want. When I get that thing I feel annoyed, but when I don't get it, I feel frustrated.

When someone goes the way I wish he/she would I feel just contented but when they don't I feel irritated. Is something so wrong with me that nothing can ever go right?

It's time for me, to end my search for something that is impossible and just so not realistic. There will never be a day in my life, something like that would happen. If it was to be, I would have found it by now.

No use praying for something to happen and waiting endlessly for something. Sacrificing what you have and had for something you know you will never get. Sometimes I contemplate myself, it does not really matter, just take it easy and you will soon get over it.

But it's really easier said than done. It's been quite some time now, and I still can't get over it. However said, I still want to believe that it can be achieved. As foolish as it may sound, it's just something I wish I would succeed at least for once.

Just another weekend, but passed differently. First it was happy then maybe a little somber. Nothing much I could say. I hope you enjoyed the weekend.

Hard to please~

Everything just happened so fast.

Everything just seemed uncontrollable.

It really has been a very tough and rough week.

All I wanted was some assurance.

But all I got was negligence.

Sometimes I just get dumbfounded.

Sometimes I just don't know what the meaning is.

When you're down, I held you up high.

When I'm down, you just let me crumble down to the ground.

Maybe I'm being too judgmental but considering my situation here now, maybe you could at least take the blame, at least for once.

You wanted to know if I was okay, now you've just gotten your answer.

The Talk Of The Town~

Who are you to judge someone?

Who do you think you are to offer an opinion to others?

What do you feel when you think you came out with a negative side of someone?

Why do you want to find fault when there are so many more things to do?

Its really intriguing and seemingly unknown the reasons why a person likes to criticize on another. What makes you think you are in the right position to criticize some one? Sometimes, it pays to think properly on what you say and not just babble your way through without making any sense or going through your brain. It kills me just because I know people who does just that. Talking endlessly and pointlessly without using their brain.

You guys think you are so grand and superior just because you guys were given some sort of priority. You guys feel as if we are beyond your reach and we do not deserve to belong. But what you don't know is, we know everything, and it's just because we know, we keep ourselves in silence, not wanting to break any friendships that are already unsteady.

But why must you all talk about us, judge us and categorize us? Let us be reminded that we are all humans, and each person has their own defective place. Please, next time before you start talking bad about someone, start judging someone or anything that falls into the category that may be worse, please think, are you any better than the person you're criticizing? If not, please keep your mouth close to yourself and never think you can get away just like that. Because there is always one day when the truth will finally come to those who were being criticized. So please, think before you talk.

A big big escapade~!

After all the things STUPID I've posted, it's time for me to post something happy and jovial. yays! thumbs up for me...Well, went on a movie marathon yesterday in a series of fortunate events..haha..first of all..went for a movie with Wei Long, Hui Yean and Michele..and guess what we watched.haha..no other than..Ice Age 3...lalalalla~~! Indeed a movie to get rid of all the numbness I'm going thru...

Silly funny and idiotic movie..Suitable for you guys that read my blog..lolx

The movie was as expected as funny as ever..haha...but I wonder why the only people laughing in the cinema was my friends and I..let me think..opss..i just remembered..there were only 8 people in the cinema..4 of them was us..the other 4 were uncles of not our decades..lolx...how sad..no matter..we're there for the movie..not the uncles..Indeed recommended if you wanna have a good laugh.. =D....

Moving on then...After sending all of them home, I went home and prepared myself for another movie.. =D...Hannah Montana!!~

A very uplifting movie I would say?lolx

Wanted to watch this movie so long ago and not having the chance and at last..the chance came...but then..how sad that our miss mei woon had to cancel on us.. =(..boo hoo!~ such a bummer..but luckilly the planned continued and mei mei and I went to Tropicana City Mall to catch the only show on that day.. =D...Again..there was oni about 10 people in the cinema..lolx..how pathetic..anyways..the seats were very very wide and big and very very the big..hahaha...indeed worth the price of RM7.. =D..

Mei Mei and I (her face is big/fat..lolx..she's gonna kill me)

After the movies, went to buy a few clothes..haha..what to do..the hands tend to itch at times and sometimes it can be controlled, sometimes it just wants to be free..and so I gave it freedom today..haha..


After the movies, thought that my day of outings would end there..But sooner then I know, Loke Lim wanted to hang out... =.=...din't want to disappoint him as he misses me soooo much *winks* I arranged my time just for him..haha..actually for him to treat me la.. =D..we went to a food court in Kepong and I had my dinner there..Apart from that, I also got my so long awaited almost forgotten never thought existed birthday present of last year -.-...well, my friend, he, likes to give gifts a year after your birthday..he's abit slow in that =D..Anyways..thanks so much for gift..It's very special and I know just where to fully utilise it..but not now..I will wait..until end of the year I hope..and I can use it..thanks Loke Lim..and imagine we knew through the internet.. =)...

Today was really something enjoyable that I needed to get out of the mess I stucked my head into. Luckilly it ws not a quicksand or else I won't be here..haha..hoping to not get any more emotional breakdowns. =D..not now not ever not anytime soon..

Till then, thank you my friends for making my day much much more brighter as it has not been this for quite some time..appreciate it and thanks!~~~

Dejected~

You said it is stupid.

Never mind if it was a slip of the tongue or whether it was what you were trying to say.

What important is you've said it and nothing can be done to take it back.

That is when it struck me.

No matter how much you do, it does not matter to the person as you're not the person of his best interest for now. When you are, he will look for you. *sighs*

Lolx..enough of this somber post...Holidays going to end soon...But then, the fun has just started..Just planned some outings with my friends and can't wait to execute them..guys...get your butts up and hurry!!~ Hurry before i get back into the prison I've brought myself into..haha..awaiting...the anticipation is killing me!~

- Back to what I am best at and you will not get in the way -

Signing off as happy as ever,

Till next time..

=D

Another day, another mood, another downfall.

Nothing important to post today


Nothing fancy happened today


Nothing worth to be celebrated today


Nothing to be sorry for today


Nothing to be happy today


Nothing to reminiscence tomorrow of what happened today


All there is for tomorrow to remember today is that it was just another plain day surrounded by nothing and at some point of your day there's something that will make you realize, reality sucks. Sucks up right to your head. Meeting you brought back the memories we once had, but you destroyed it. Seeing you acting cool as if nothing happen brings numbness to me. It makes me realize that there are so many people who lie and fake, out there, everywhere, just to get whatever they want.

Just like what you used to do. I can actually say that I'm partially glad that you are no longer here. We no longer contact each other. We only meet up once in a blue moon that also out of coincidence. I'm indeed glad. That I don't have to see you fake anymore. And now i solemnly wish that I would see you less and less. I wish that I will meet less people like you. You are the one smacked the senses out of me. May be I would be saying thank you now, but I am going to say sorry and goodbye. May everything turn out well. Good luck or should I say good riddance. Mind my manners here, I would be fine. Thank you and I will be okay.

Of Friends and Hamburgers

The need to update my blog, but however much I try, the spirit does not come to me. Sometimes it's just hard trying to figure how to put the words in your head and arrange the jumbled words and phrases into a coordinated and understandable way.

Well, in the end, this post will turn out to be a post that will soon be forgotten and burned into dust.

One day, a group of friends decided to go on a trip during their semester holidays right after their examinations. Two of them had reasons to go for the trip while another just wanted to tagged along and let loose for a while. Albeit he has activities to be done right after the trip, he decided to follow the other two, just to be sure. After all the things that has happened during the past few months, he was a bit worried and thought he would help out. Was it a noble move or a idiotic move, no one could tell because he himself could not figure it out.

During the trip, the one who was suppose to drive felt sick and so, the friend who tagged along offered to drive. Although being worned out because he had to do some errands and had awoken early in the morning, he withstood it and drove throughout the trip until the one who felt sick was better and ready to take over the wheel. The two passengers did not sleep the whole journey because they were afraid that the driver would have fallen asleep too and they tried to talk to create an upbeat and jovial ambience into the car.

The three friends finally arrived at their destination an immediately unpacked their belongings and had their dinner. As usual, after dinner and hanging around for a while, the group of friends decided to have their supper and chose a nice and cozy place to enjoy their tea and bread. During that supper, one of them started to feel sick right on the spot. He lost his appetite and will to talk. The pain was just too hard to bear for him. The pain did not end there and it stayed there with him throughout the night.

The next morning, when he had awoken, he was a bit glad that he did not feel that sick anymore. During breakfast however, he felt sick again but remained calm and regained his composure as he did not want his friends to be worried. During the night after their dinner, they had hamburgers as their supper. Only 2 of them wanted to eat while the other was very full. The one who was sick ate the extra hamburger although he was not feeling well and it ended up making him even sicker. The pain continued for two more days before it completely subsided.

A photo just to stir the mood up =D

Sometimes it's not how much one appreciate what you've done for them. It's the pleasure you find when you are able to help someone. You should never hope for anything in return for the things you've done voluntarily for someone. It's just a one-way ticket and if you wan a return ticket, you've got to work for it, not hope for it. However sometimes no matter how hard you work to try to achieve it, you just can't reach it.

It shows that, what you've done is completely enough and there is nothing else that you can do. Things should remain the way they are and you should not do anymore that you've done. It's good to care, but care alone is not going to get you far. Learn to give and take. Never keep giving continuously. Sometimes you need to take some back to. Having the ability to do that, you will soon be liberated and you will not be hurt by anyone, anything, anywhat anymore.

That's the hidden message behind the above story I've just written. But worry not, it's not originally written by me. I'm not capable of doing so. I just merely copied it from an article in the internet which I saw and wanted to share it with you all. =D

Malacca~!(16 June 2009)

It's been quite some time since I've last updated my blog..lolx..reason is...kinda lazy and couldn't find anything to blog about...ok..im lying..maybe im just as lazy as a kind of animal but im not gonna name it..haha..well..went to malacca for a day trip =D....Actually needed to pick up Edison from port dickson..so decided to head on to Malacaa...Kinda lazy...So just...let the photos do the talking...

In Menara Taming Sari.. =D...Yie Hua and Kit Yien

Just arriving Malacca by train.. lolx

The windmill is nice =D

Edison and I in front of a fountain.. *lame*

Two wanted loan sharks...dun mess with them.. XD

Reached UKM about 10.30 pm...was very tired but happy as well..it has been a very very long time since I've had so much fun...Although it was very tiring, for me especially, it's all worth it. Looking forward to other trips to come..i Hope there is one..haha..till then..ciaoz!~

F.R.I.E.N.D.S

A story tells that two friends were walking through the desert.

During some point of the journey they had an argument, and one friend slapped the other one in the face.

The one who got slapped was hurt, but without saying anything, wrote in the sand:

TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE .

They kept on walking until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath..

The one who had been slapped got stuck in the mire and started drowning, but the friend saved him.

After he recovered from the near drowning, he wrote on a stone:

TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE.

The friend who had slapped and saved his best friend asked him, "After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand and now, you write on a stone, why?"

The other friend replied

"When someone hurts us we should write it down in sand where winds of forgiveness can erase it away. But, when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it."

It takes a minute to find a special person,

An hour to appreciate them,

A day to love them, but then

An entire life to forget them.


Thank YOU, for being my friend.

Lost~

Why am I in my faculty now posting this blog?? I should be in my room in the hostel, getting a good nights sleep. I am being sleep deprived. I need my sleep. I don't understand why I am in my faculty supposedly to discuss of our project but what we are doing now is just indulging in facebook and messenger. What is the purpose? If that's what we want to do, we might as well have just done it in our room. Why the hassle to come all the way to the faculty but not getting any result?

Is it just me or the group? I really can't figure this out. Why? Having to study during the holidays is bad enough. Now why this? Save me. Salvage me. From the deep trough that I've fallen into. =(

Yet again an outing !! (25 May 2009)

Right after coming back from Genting, my friends came to UKM the next day to look for me. haha..so so so so so so grateful to have such nice friends..thanks guys!! love u all a bunch..they reached UKM at about 12 pm and v headed off to Sunway Pyramid..they wanted to ice skate since it has been ages since we've skated.

Before we entered the skating rink, we decided to have our lunch 1st..and..we chose Manhattan Fish Market..lolx..

Seafood platter for 2

And the we headed to the skating rink and bought our entrance ticket..the gloves looked exactly like those worn by gardeners..*sighs*...a few photos to entice you..haha..

After an hour only she dared to skate without help..haha

Wei Long, Yung Hoong, Hui Yean, Michele

Then we took some photos with the super duper mega cute PIKACHU...haha..and an interesting video of Hui Yean.. =D

Cute =D

Back to childhood..lolx

Don't kill me when you see this...haha

Group photo of us in the lift before heading back to UKM

Thanks guys..you all made my day much much more brigther =D

Trip With Couremates~~!

Yes, another trip. Looks like my life these few months revolve around trips and trips and even more trips...lolx...can't blame me...it's supposed to be the holidays but yet I'm stuck in UKM having to study and sit for exam..how lame can it get...sighs..

Well, on 22-24 May 2009, the whole bunch of us headed to Genting for a sweet getaway..haha..it was indeed a nice trip as I suppose this is the 1st time tat so many of us were so close together..having to practically live under the same roof for the 1st time..it's a whole new experience living with 22 people in the same vicinity..haha...

Look, I'm as tall as 16 tickets =D

At oldtown in genting for a yum cha session

The first day ended kinda fast cos some of us only managed to reach the hill at about 10 pm and by that time, after unpacking, there weren't anything else much to do..so..due to the encouragement for a pinch of the group, v decided to enter SAFARI..lolx..anyways, safari is not the animal safari as you would have thought so..haha..its something different..lolx..nothing much happening in there also..wasn't what I thought it would be..

On the 2nd day, v woke up at about 8 am being rushed by our beloved Leong Jun Xing..haha..he rushed us to wake up and get ready to enter the outdoor theme park..he was so into it..first time seeing him so enthusiastic and energetic..haha..and so v entered the theme park..and started camwhoring.. =D..

The happy group of us *reminiscence*

Practically this whole trip was for us to camwhore..can be said that majority of the coursemates are camwhorers lolx...snapping photos all day long be it nice shots or ugly shots or self portraits.haha...imagine..2 days and they managed to snap about 400 photos in my camera..*salutes them*..haha..more photos for you to indulge in before i pen down..indeed this trip was very enjoyable and sweet..ahaha...looking forward to another trip i guess.. KP rocks!!~

The five of us living in the same residence in UKM =O

All the super(wo)men,ultra(wo)men n bat(wo)men..lol..love this snap

It looks like a heart doesn't it?haha

Cute post =D

Back at kl, wanted to grab something to eat, so went to serdang to have steamboat buffet..hehe..the four of us, jun xing, kok hoe, kit yien and I..haha..the rest did not follow cos they came down earlier.. =D...

eee...what's that ??

as usual..money money money XD

kok hoe and I

He's pouring water into the pot happily.. =O

Up and down

First I was contented, then I was happy, and then I felt fantastic. But then, you just have to pull be back down to square one all over again. Sometimes I wonder what is really happening. Sometimes I just want this to end. But I can't. Why does my mood swing to and fro without any warning. I need time. Time to prepare. Time to embrace. This feeling itself is killing me. Crapping my way out in this post, hoping to feel relieved after jotting down all the important details, of what made my day from sombre to funtastic and last of all pathetic. Should stop here before I become any more lame.

Pangkor!~ (9-11 May 2009)

Lolx...meant to post this up sooner but..haha...at least i am posting it now.. =D...well, went on a trip to Pangkor organised by a society which I did not join. lolx..went there with a friend and all in all, the trip can be said to be an enjoyable one. =D...not going to babble any longer, let the photos do the talking...

Boat =D

Night view by the beach lolz

Buried alive! =)

Group pic on the last day =~~!

As you've noticed, no photos of me...haha..reason is i don't camwhore.. =D...tats all.. !~