Done

I'm done with it. Time to execute the drill. You might be surprised by things that I could pull off. No more bargaining.

I'm

D.O.N.E

~

Smile!~

Just smile and all the pain will go away.

It will ease away the pain.

=D =D =D

=) =) =)

^^ ^^ ^^

Mission accomplished.

=D

-,-

If you've made up your mind, please don't bother changing it.

You have seen it coming. The next time, just ignore. Ignore and pretend you do not know.

It's not worth it. Now trying to console myself.

What's not yours from the beginning is never a lost when you lose it. So look on the bright side, you did not lose anything.

Now, telling myself. Not to give in anymore. Enough is enough. No more games, no more manipulating.

Please. I beg you to let me go.

Celebration

Congratulations Yih-Jie Wong. Today, you just lost a friend. For your extreme luck, you are awarded with a lifetime supply of sorrow, remorse and animosity. Well, maybe it's better off like this than lying to yourself right?

When you think about it, maybe you've just made a person free from your control. Oh wait, was I controlling or was I the one being controlled?

Anyways, going to celebrate this special day. With a date with my pillow, blanket and bed that are the only ones that can drench themselves in what I feel. Too bad they are only not human. If not, they would make great company.

Still the same

You always know when to get me. And most importantly where. It's always been like that. I wonder why I always let myself be the puppet. Pulled with strings that are controlled by you. How I wish that one day I would be able to cut those strings and set myself free. However, a puppet is lifeless without the strings to direct him.

So what now? Should I just cut the strings and be lifeless, or should I carry on being your puppet for the rest of my life?

Better, why don't I just disappear for a moment or two. Maybe it's time. You never really needed me. I was merely just a decoration.

Well, hustle up now. It's time to make a decision.

=(

It's so clever when someone knows how to use different types of sentences in different type of situations.

Maybe indirectly you're the mastermind after all. I just the follower obeying to your every rule.

Lets just keep it short. Maybe not sweet. Somehow, I feel bitter now.

Penible!!!~

It's really getting tired and sickening. Sometimes you get sick living with it and sometimes you feel so lost without it.

How much longer must it carry on? Soon, you will find a replacement. And soon, there will be no use of this scrap anymore. Or do you still need this scrap to become your minion and do all the jobs for you while you, sir all high and mighty just relax and unwind killing time peacefully?

I really don't like being used if that's the way it is now. But deep down inside me, I believe I'm right and what others say are not correct. I solemnly do. = =...

So, you there, do not give me a reason. A reason to regret my choices. A reason to not want to believe anymore. Well, that's handy. As if I've not made enough wrong choices. =,=|| !!~

The reason?

May I know the reason why in the first place you're doing this to me?

You just seem so secretive. You don't show it. You don't talk about it.

All you ever do is avoid it.

Maybe to you it's all normal, but have you ever thought of the feelings of others?

Did you ever think that by doing so, you will hurt someone? Maybe me?

I'm not as good as a broom, able to sweep away dusts and rubbish constantly. I am nothing but only human.

Sometimes I wish you would just be truthful to me. Sometimes I wish you would.

Sometimes there's you a small part in me, thinking that its disappointing. Not you. Me. Disappointed in myself.

So next time you talk to me, think what is the real reason you find me for. Don't use be for your own benefit. Think of me. Don't be selfish. I end with a thank you.

Reminder to self.

No, I will not. I promised I will not. It's just a small challenge for me. I can do it. I will not look back and think about it again. I will try my best to move on. =)....

Finished liao...reminding myself...yes..now back to my work.. = =

Too many things to care for, too many things to tend to.

It's been a very very very very extremely hectic week. Barely slept 4 hours a day during the night, but luckily i still manage to catch forty winks in the afternoon. *sighs*. Being so relaxed during the first few weeks when uni started and now, barely living it out by not choking and getting myself drown. = . =

So what? It's just the beginning. With the due date of an integrated project coming new, with 5 labs within 2 weeks, where 3 labs are continuous and going for a camp on the weekend. Gosh, I wonder whether I would survive next week.

Feels like shit. Tastes like hell. Sometimes I just wish I could just sit back, shake my legs and hope that everything ends well. But looks like that ain't coming. Maybe it's just me trying to inhale everything into myself and soak myself in it so that I will not think too much. =).

Yeah, it's going to be a hell of weeks, but for once, maybe I feel liberated? haha....
It's been going fine now, no messages from you, no conversations from you whatsoever and most importantly no feud. It makes it simpler to not care because it's not important to you.

Just here to rant some stuffs and now, after a energizing bath, I'm off to drenching myself again. Let's hope I get out alive, or not. =D

Reflections.

It's been a while since I last posted something. ^^

Reason for not updating, because I can't find anything to talk about. =)

Fact is, not that I don't have anything to talk about. Just that I don't think it's worth to be talked. For the past few weeks I've been trying to remain calm and regain my composure. haha~....not sure if it's working but I'm definitely trying. It came to my conscious that it is evident that you can trust no one but yourself. That is, of course if you don't want to get hurt.

It's funny how mind works. When you lose something, you will try all ways to try to find back that precious thing. When you do not find it, you feel that you're devastated and demoralized. What if, after a few weeks later, it reappeared again? Out of nowhere. Maybe you would be happy, maybe you won't feel anything.

The feeling is not just the same anymore as when you first owned it. The feeling is different now. When searching for the missing item, sometimes I might also hurt others unintentionally. It's not that I want to, but I did not notice it. Maybe I am just too carried away by the disappearance of the item that I neglected others that were important to me as well. It's not that I don't care about the rest. Sometimes explaining after something happened brings even more harm.

If they are true to you, one day, they will understand. Anyways, just wanted to apologize if it really did harm to you all. =).

As the days of the new year increase, I hope maybe I will not be stubborn anymore. =).
I hope that I would not be bound by the thing I've always been searching for.
I hope that I will not trust anyone so easily anymore.
I hope that I will not treat everyone so good anymore.
I hope that I will be back to what I'm best at. =P
I hope that from now on, these walls built around me will be strong enough to withstand the currents and pressure from the surrounding.

Last but not least, yes, people do change. It is evident now. But for the better or for the worse nobody can tell. Different people has different views. It's up to u how you interpret it. When someone has changed, you can do nothing to change the person back to the original, but you can only hope that the new person is just as good as the previous one.

One can forgive another persons mistake, but can one really forget? Let's just keep it as a memoir for us to remind ourselves that nobody is perfect and nothing is eternal. Things change. People change.

I guess it will be quite sometime before I update. =D ( sulah mau tidur la~~ haha.. )